Last weekend we left for a wedding across the country at 1AM and returned two-ish days later at 2AM. To say we were over-fatigued is an understatement and our trip wasn’t exactly smooth. My husband’s suit never arrived at the rental place, which was a problem considering he was in the groom’s party. Our rental car got a flat tire. I didn’t get to spend as much time as I would have liked to have with him while we were there, etc. Then, when we got back home? Things didn’t get easier. I went to the DMV to change my driver’s license to my married name, and after waiting over an hour I learned their systems were down. There was also some family drama that I don’t want to get into. And, oh yeah, my new medication makes me feel sick every day at 4PM.
So, how is it that my husband and I are managing to stay sane? How is it that we can still feel at peace rather than frustrated because “everything is going wrong?”
Because the culture my husband and I have developed in our hearts and in our home is overwhelmingly positive.
I once listened to a podcast that insisted that women are in charge of setting the mood for their homes. While I don’t think this responsibility should fall on one particular sex, it got me thinking about the things we can all do to make sure the home is a happy environment.
Everyone has rough days once and a while, but when the tone of the home is a happy one, challenges are easier to overcome, easier to laugh at, and easier to move forward with in peace.
Perhaps the most important way to create a happy home is to communicate openly, honestly, and regularly with all members of the household. For example, my husband and I aim to have at least one meal together per day. At this meal, we take our time telling each other about our days and having honest heart-to-hearts. If something is bothering us, we bring it up in a way that is respectful rather than critical or confrontational. Afterwards, we continue to communicate, though not always verbally.
Our actions also communicate how much we care for each other, and ultimately set the tone for our home. Such actions may include doing the dishes together so that the burden doesn’t fall on just one person. They may include going out to the trash can together, even if we only have one bag to dispose of. They may include putting on a record at dinner time or making two cups of steaming hot tea instead of just one for ourself.
What happens while we are out in the world or how we are treated is often out of our control, but how we feel and how we react is well within it. Because the culture in our home is so loving and warm, we can snap back quickly when confronted with unpleasantries.
What do you do to set the tone for your home?